Lindsay Lohan
Lindsay Lohan is dating with Entourage star Adrian Grenier. Well, she seems to date many guys within days. She can break world record in dating the most guys in days. According to Perez Hilton, the two have been "talking" a lot, and yesterday even ventured out on a date to the Beverly Hills Hotel. "No paparazzi," his source says. "Since they're relationship is new, they wanna keep things as private as possible."
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1 comment:
Suckno here.
I write with purpose. Specifically, the purpose of getting myself installed as Dictator For Life in the White House. Fuck Hillary, vote SUCKNO!
So here goes:
I'm Les Suckno and I'm running for Dictator For Life of the United States on the Dispaerunia Party ticket. Here is my platform:
-I will press the Congress for legislation renaming The White House "Penis House" in honor of JFK, LBJ, Richard Nixon, and Bill Clinton.
-Free condoms with every vote.
-Prostitution will be illegal only if for money. Drugs and other consideration will be acceptable, since many of us already get women fucked up to fuck.
-Pornography will be mandatory in all public schools. The solution to the teenage pregnancy problem is masturbation, not abstinence.
-Consensual sex between hot female teaches and students will be encouraged. Free Mary Kay Tourneau!
-Denying homosexuality will be a crime. Tom Cruise will definitely get the chair.
-Establishment of a national Breeder's Pride Day, replete with a Breeder's Pride Parade in major cities where heterosexuals will be permitted to fornicate in the streets in celebration of our sexuality.
-Federal discounts on donuts for police.
-I will double the pay of policemen, firemen, and teachers by a special 50% excise tax on the annual earnings of shitty entertainers such as Madunga, Robert Gullet, Shittany Spears, Blohan, Parasite Hilton, Steve Lawrence, Edie Gorme, Barbara Streisand, George Michael, Bret Michaels, Hanson, Electric Light Orchestra, Artemis Pyle, Osama Ben Ladin, Don Rickles, What's My Line, all teen coming of age movies, all teen television programming, Rush Limbaugh, Dr. Phil, Dr. Laura, Fat Elvis, Glen Matlock, Julio Iglesias, Liza, Neil Diamond, Barry Manolow, Black Oak Arkansas, James Taylor, Dorothy Hamill, any Osmond family member, Michael Jackson, Lionel Ritchie, Stevie Wonder, Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr, Mick Jagger sans The Rolling Stones, Jim Bullock, and Andy Dick.
-Speaking of Artemis Pyle and Michael Jackson, convicted pedophiles will get the chair. In these cases, habeus corpus will be suspended and martial law will be imposed.
-By executive order, I will make one day during Sweeps Week a national holiday for federal workers honoring Jerry Springer so long as the workers watch a minimum of 8 hours of Springer reruns and new shows on that day. I will encourage the private sector to do the same.
And finally, my economic recovery plan:
If elected, I will eliminate all personal federal income tax. I will levy heavy taxes on all vices, such as tobacco, drugs, gambling, hard core pornographic videos, Las Vegas, and obesity, all of which will be legal so long as tax is accurately collected. I will eliminate welfare and all New Deal and Great Society social programs, and will distribute the tax dollars saved to every United States citizen, per capita. The resulting investment boom will stimulate the United States economy like Ginger Lynn taking in nigger cock, and will trigger a massive economic resurgence the likes of which have not yet been seen. VOTE SUCKNO, GET A CHECK.
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